Imagine a business you can operate at full capacity by providing a valuable product and “service” to millions of customers with no restraint on inventory, no liability and carry a “non” or “not for profit” status.
Imagine a business with no worries about profit or loss – and the money keeps coming in. As a bonus, you can carry this on for more than 50 years and brag about it.
Imagine a business that is funded by those you are
trying supposed to help. Imagine if your business could get away with shaming your customers for failing with your product or service.
You could offer ineffective tips keeping your status as a caring and upstanding business in the community. Wouldn’t that be fun?
Don’t give up!
We’re here to help!
Imagine calling a trained expert THIRTY times.
Is that acceptable?
Supply & Demand
Imagine how failure on the customers part creates opportunity for more business. Promoting almost useless products you don’t pay for is not only fun, but keeps you, and the supplier in business. They’ll keep coming back. You know the failure rate is 93%, and knowing why is not your concern.
Use the term “cessation” a lot because it sounds soothing. In contrast, I suggest focusing on something with at least three syllables so it is ominous and scary sounding – like nicotine – because it sounds evil.
Remember, you have no accountability or responsibility for success in the eye of the public. You just have to look like you’re trying.
- Be realistic. Don’t talk about of tobacco control out of church.
- As much as possible, try to influence policy as much as you can.
- In fact, success would be detrimental to your survival, always elude to an exit strategy.
Keep Success To A Minimum
Imagine your success. Stay focused. Your success is paramount, not your customers. Customer success is of no concern. In fact, it’s widely acceptable to shame customers and convince them that their failure is not your responsiblity. Play on their desperation, not satisfaction. Ultimately, hold your customers accountable. Confuse and bewilder them. That’s the plan.
Feign support, but encourage. Make it perfectly clear that the customer is the problem, not your business. Convince them to keep trying.
Passive-Aggressive Is Best
Imagine your staying power. Make it clear that they are the problem, not your business. Place the failure on the consumer, and promote your business as if it has helped millions, helping you. Failure is not only acceptable, it is expected. Join other businesses like you to keep momentum.
— CDC Tobacco Free (@CDCTobaccoFree) January 13, 2017
Don’t Give Up
Imagine if smokers could succeed. Ignore and damn any methods that work, despite the evidence, as it would be detrimental to your survival. In fact, only support any other method if they are taxed, regulated and funded in such a way that will only contribute to your success.
Leave your ineffective products and services alone. At any cost including lies, use children (because who doesn’t like to Think About The Children™).
Convince the public via mass marketing that it is ultimately safer to keep smoking than to risk using any product not approved by you, or your affiliates.
Always seem concerned or challenged by any less harmful alternative.
Remember, you must restrain yourself. Never, under any circumstances, talk about any effective alternatives that may risk your reputation or your business. Ever.
Imagine a business that would go bankrupt if it did what it was designed to do.
Help people stop smoking.
NEWS from my friends across the pond: Vapers.org.uk.
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Medical, Research, Science Professionals:
- CASAA – The Consumer Advocates for Smoke-free Alternatives Association
- NOT BLOWING SMOKE
- Tobacco Harm Reduction Association of Canada (THRA)
- Vaping Militia
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