Place your trust in public health officials. They are the clergy, you are the congregation.
Only they know the way to help you stop smoking. Do it their way and no one gets hurt. This is nothing less than helping smokers quit. It’s what they do.
They have resources and unlimited educations with tenure (and offerings in the plate) to find the best information to help you.
They know what is good for
them you. They would never, ever steer you wrong. There’s no doubt in their minds they want the best for you for their cause. Nothing but the best is good enough for you, sinner.
Only they, with their infinite wisdom, provide divine intervention.
How dare you think for yourself. Get your hymnal, heathen, stop whispering during the service. There is no room for non-believers. Please be thoughtful and have your soul ready for processing.
If you fail, it is your fault, sinner. Try again, get down on your knees. Beg for mercy. You didn’t mean it. Lead yourself not into the forbidden
smoking area den of inequity.
Get back up off your knees. Try again. Beg their forgiveness. They have apps. Methods. Do it their way. Sinner. Have faith. Raise your ashtrays high above your heads. You must take the solemn vows of tobacco control.
Stop impugning their holy efforts and do not question them when they withhold information.
Their ethics are pure.
Going To The Chapel
They look like good people and organizations.
They’re nicely dressed. Big words. Fancy initials before and after their names. Nice clean collars, well fed, well bred and full of sermons.
That’s your Sunday best? That’s what you wore to
church the cult meeting?
Ugh, Here’s your hymnal. Find a pew, pay attention and be quiet. Stop chewing your gum.
Authority and righteousness is not to be challenged.
You can keep sinning, they get your sin tax. Try to stop smoking. Go ahead I dare you, they get repeat customers quitting their way.
You just can’t resist temptation, can you? They see you clutching your lighter, you evil sinner. Try as you may to repent, you don’t have it in you. Didn’t you slap the
blood patch on your arm as a badge of honor or taste the snake oil gum as it was offered to you?
You must truly believe. You must have faith. Without it, These tools are ineffective and have no real value (to you). Without family and support with counseling and a quit plan (along with an all hail tobacco control) these methods will fail you at an average of 93%.
Don’t lose hope, they’re going to save you, sinner, with their Divine intervention.
If you continue smoking despite the advice from the deacons of tobacco control, it’s a good deal for the devil.
Stop disappointing them. There are other methods that will bring you – yes, redemption, like
|Nausea, Depression, Suicidal thoughts and more…Too bad for you, but – they are, after all, collecting souls.
Feel better yet?
No Sleeping During The Sermon
They are set and ready, designed to enlighten you. Stay alert during the service. What do you know, you’re a sinner. Practice what they preach. They want your undivided attention and commitment to them and their word. Listen carefully!
Here’s one preaching to the choir from the Sistine Chapel pulpit:
They, after all, are the experts. You haven’t brushed up on the tobacco control bible, have you? They keep praying and preaching about nicotine, but nicotine is not addictive.
To further their agenda (and the greater good), they have lied about nicotine for years.
Wash away those sins. Aren’t you looking for redemption?
Not all nicotine is the same, you immoral heathen.
The holy water of tobacco control has blessed the magical pharmaceutical nicotine, and then there is nicotine after 2007.
Chapter And Verse
So sayeth tobacco control.
All rise and recite after me:
This is a startling insight to the teachings of the fringe of the gospel according to Tobacco Control:
Via Michael Siegel (bold & underlining is my emphasis):
Importantly, only one perspective on this issue was presented to us in the trainings. There was no room for disagreement or challenge. These ideas were presented as scientific facts, not subject to debate. In fact, if we were to challenge the ideas, the implication was that we – ourselves – might be accused of working for Big Tobacco or receiving secret payoffs.
The most prominent and dogmatic idea presented to us was that “The debate is over.” There is no room for questioning of the link between secondhand smoke and chronic disease. Anyone who challenges that link or suggests that it is being exaggerated must therefore be a front for the tobacco industry. No reasonable person – acting of their own accord – would challenge this undebatable science.
That is explained here:
Yet, research is ignored. Falsified. Construed.
There is a U.S. Federal Policy on Research Misconduct.
Research misconduct is defined as fabrication, falsification, or plagiarism in proposing, performing, or reviewing research, or in reporting research results.
- Fabrication is making up data or results and recording or reporting them.
- Falsification is manipulating research materials, equipment, or processes, or changing or omitting data or results such that the research is not accurately represented in the research record.3
- Plagiarism is the appropriation of another person’s ideas, processes, results, or words without giving appropriate credit.
- Research misconduct does not include honest error or differences of opinion.
Findings of Research Misconduct
A finding of research misconduct requires that:
- There be a significant departure from accepted practices of the relevant research community; and
- The misconduct be committed intentionally, or knowingly, or recklessly; and
- The allegation be proven by a preponderance of evidence.
The R.I.C.O. Act
Federal research misconduct for fiscal gain is a crime.
There’s intentional misconduct committed throughout the health community, and that makes it an “acceptable” practice.
See what they did there?
Deliver us from evil.
When will they be held accountable?
They are men and women of the tobacco control cloth holding secret dances and parties you’re never going to be privy to. Governments turn a blind eye. There is no room for disagreement or challenge to those who otherwise would be brave enough to try, as Dr. Seigel pointed out above.
The Pope, Deacons, Preachers and choirboys and girls of the tobacco control church have worked hard to bring you a quality service.
See ya next Sunday, wear something nice.
Fill your tanks, realize this is what you’re up against.
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